Masters of the Mumbai Commuter Trains

We had many run-ins with the Mumbai Commuter Trains to the point where we actually rode every line and passed almost all of the stops, mostly on purpose. By the end we were experts and had learned some really important lessons:

•   Do not get on a train until you have separately confirmed from three different people on the platform that the train is going where you want to go. Some people may lie to get rid of you, some may not know but venture a guess, some might be crazy; but if there are three people in agreement, you can feel pretty good about it.
•  If you ask the same station manager how to get to the same place twice, with a ten minute interval, he may tell you totally different things.
• Take a picture of the station map because if you don’t follow stop by stop you may never know when to get off. Station announcements are sporadic, at some stations you don’t stop long enough to be able to find a read a sign, and some signs are only in Hindi.
•  Neral and Narul are both stops and pronounced by silly Americans sound the same. Also, Narul is a really common stop everyone thinks you want to go to, Neral- not so much. The trick is saying “Neral” and pronouncing it like “neerle” with the accent on the first syllable and then saying “not Nerul” and pronouncing it “Neerooool” with the accent on the second syllable. Then you have to say “not on the way to CST, on the way to Karjat” and eventually you can get someone to understand where you are trying go. Whether they know how to get you there is another story. Spelling out the destination is useless.  It took us a full hour of scrambling at a station to learn this lesson. May it come in handy to someone, someday.
• If it is rush hour spend the extra dollar and get a 1^st class ticket. While the only structural difference is padding on the bench, the fact that you won’t get trampled to death is a pretty good benefit.