Sleeping with Strangers

I’m not sure there is anything socially weirder than sleeping in a room of strangers. Yeah, we did it at summer camp and even at youth hostels but in those situations, the fact that you were technically strangers was tempered by a common interest and age. Not so with the business class sleeping lounge. Here a random bunch of adults whose only commonality is tiredness, join together to fall fast asleep on top of a chaise longue which typically has a built-in pillow that is at just the wrong angle and height.

When you are asleep, you are at your most vulnerable. What if I talk in my sleep? Snore? Flip flop around and end up in a compromising position? These are my fears. I suppose other rational ones include being murdered or having all your stuff stolen but you are annoying supposed to buy into the idea that murderers and crooks don’t fly business class… All fears aside, it’s more that the whole situation is supremely awkward.

In Frankfurt, a man across from me was snoring like I have never heard outside of cartoons. I used earplugs for the first time in my life. But dude’s asleep, what can ya do? Well the lady next to me got out of bed and woke him up. WHAT?? Waking up a sleeping stranger is the worst! What method do you use? Noise or movement? Given the proximity of other sleeping strangers, movement is the only option. But then where do you touch? What do you say when they awaken? In what language? Yikes. This woman didn’t seem to wrestle with any of these questions. She bounded over to the man and shook his shoulder until he woke up and told him in English that he was snoring. Turns out they were both ‘Mericun so it worked out… and the snoring stopped for about 20 minutes.

My turn came. The alarm clock of a man in the corner of the room went off and woke me up but apparently not anyone else. My first instinct was to roll-over and reinsert my earplugs but then I remembered that we are in an airport. If there’s one place where oversleeping can be catastrophic, it’s here (okay, also on the battlefield, before a wedding/final exam/surgical procedure… but catastrophic none the less). Plus the reason that I kept waking up every half hour despite my trusty alarm clock set next to me was that I was paranoid of befalling the same fate. Flight missing is a level of stress I never intend to experience. So I got up, took a deep breath, and gave the guy’s hand a shake. No luck. And then the worst thing happened—his alarm timed out and shut off and I honestly thought “he’s not going to believe me!” but it was too late and I’d already committed. If I backed out now and he randomly woke up I’d be a creepy lady standing over him while he was sleeping… essentially creating for myself the worst (g-rated) case scenario in a room of sleeping adult strangers. I went for his shoulder and shook him and he startled and I told him his alarm went off and because he was also ‘Mericun and could tell time he both understood and believed me. I bounced back to my recliner, emotionally exhausted and fell asleep. Mitzvah for the day, check.

Side note: why are all the people sleeping in the Frankfurt Lounge American? Is there something we don’t know? Did news of a business-class lounge bedbug outbreak spread all over Europe but since we don’t watch the BBC we are ignorant and just asking for infestation?

Anyway, sleeping in a room with strangers is creepy and having to wake one up is worse.