My 80 year old Malian Boyfriend

During business travel in foreign lands it can be really hard to make friends. There are a lot of dinners by yourself and a lot of evenings spent alone in your hotel room with your lap top. That's why I'm so friendly to cab drivers and hotel staff- they are the people I have access to and can talk to. However, one mustn't be too nice when female and traveling alone...

So the porter at my hotel was a really sweet old man. And I mean OLD. I asked his name and thanked him when he brought my things to my room. I said goodmorning to him in the morning and good night in the evening. Pretty standard stuff. And then the gifts came...

First he handed me a package with a necklace in it. Upon further inspection it had his email address inside (I cannot imagine where he gets email access...). I tried to refuse it but no luck, and decided to curtail my greetings for the time being.

Then came the flowers. At first I convinced myself that it could have been a coincidence. Maybe someone stepped on a flower and walked around and it came off their shoe outside my door? Totally plausible... one time. Second time, not so much.

At this point I resorted to the phrase "My husband wouldn't like that". I hate it a little. It makes it seem like there is some possessive man who tells me what to do all the time. It sounds like I'm scared of my husband and that he is some Neanderthal who protects my honor. It also sounds like having a normal interaction with a member of the opposite sex is not allowed within marriage. However, it also works. So dropped that bomb like mad. Gifts "husband wouldn't like that". Ask for email address "husband wouldn't like that". Maybe it's a cop out and I should say "the way you are treating me makes me uncomfortable and I"m sorry if it's a cultural misunderstanding or I am in any way misinterpreting your attention but I'd appreciate if you would stop doing that". But I'm going to stick with the phrase. Easy and effective.

I made a total error at the Western Union where I went with my coworker and told the guy which hotel we were in (which honestly, there are only two in the town so he could have figured it out) but then the BOLD man called our hotel and asked for my coworker to 'chat'. She's better than me and didn't worry about hurting feelings and just hung up on him. Maybe I'll learn that one too.