Business Trippin'

So when I started my job, I had never been on a business trip to West Africa so (because I’m me) I over-prepared. The dress code was 'long and loose' which basically necessitated me buying a new wardrobe. I literally looked at mormon clothing websites before I realized I could steal clothes from Sup. I still don't understand why the hottest places on earth are also the most conservatively dressed...

I bought a special purse that was not flashy but also really sturdy with lots of pockets for different things (or more accurately lots of places to misplace my documents). I’m pretty sure if I took my travel purse on “Let’s Make A Deal” I would win. Some of the contents include: toilet paper, hand sanitizer, bug spray, sun block, tissues, chap stick, pens, a notebook, a novel, photocopies of pretty much every page in my passport, my husband’s passport (not sure why), 4 frequent flyer cards including Air Mali, SIM cards from countries all over the world, a list of embassy phone numbers, a flashlight, a Cliff bar, a water bottle, pepper spray, a knife, and a photo album. Now I maintain that each of these items is essential, though some have yet to demonstrate their utility.

The exciting part of business travel is flying business class for the first time, and not just crappy-tiny-plane business class but international-carrier-giant-plane-fancy-pants business class. I will admit at first to being somewhat confused when the crew came around to physically tuck a napkin on my lap and spread a table cloth across my tray. And honestly, how much silverware does one need on a plane? Four forks? I, of course, neglected to return my seat to the upright position prior to eating which made things interesting but once I had my table cloth and fifteen utensils set up it was too late to adjust. All in all it was a pretty pleasant situation but paled in comparison to the awesomeness that is the business class lounge. Wow, they feed you! And if for some reason I wanted to drink some Black Label prior to my flight, I could have. Instead I mooched free internet and fell asleep on the beds.

An airline that shall remain nameless (in case they were serious about that confidentiality agreement) called me at work to see if I’d be willing to test their new business class seat- sure! At the time they didn’t ask “do you by any chance write surveys and collect data for a living?” and I bet they regret that now. During the course of my 9 hour flight I was given three different terribly written surveys (nothing worse than non-mutually-exclusive and non-exhaustive multiple choice responses! Right?). We started with my “first impressions” survey which asked such questions as “describe your satisfaction with the distance from your nose to the TV screen” then after the meal there was the survey that took me through every possible permutation of leg and head positions the seat was capable of and asked me to rate my comfort in each. The thing is, I was just happy to be in business class- every position of that seat was more comfortable than sitting in coach so I’m not sure they got any good info from me. I also wrote in answers on the side and extra info. Q: “Do you find the leg rest in the right position” A: “Yes- and just so you know I am 5’6’’ which you should have asked because responses to that question depend entirely on height”. And then there was artificial night time and the survey when we woke up detailing how restful we thought our sleep was in the seat. More questions about the height of the armrest and the ease of opening the tray table. And for my troubles I received an elegantly wrapped, totally useless gift- a silver luggage tag engraved with the flight number and a picture of the plane… so I can look back fondly on flight 921 for the rest of my life.