Servitude

I am just plain bad with cultures of servitude.  I'm not sure if I've written about this previously but it's something I am confronted with a lot.  My silly inner-American can just not handle being waited on "we're all equal!" "I'm the same as you!" "we are peers!".

You can probably trace the causes back to some combination of the history of slavery in the US; the American dream with it's emphasis on meritocracy, pulling-up-from-bootstraps, and all the similar socialization I've had my whole life; and a heaping dose of a general disdain for formality.

Anyway, this all comes together and makes me SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE when people approach me in a servile, obsequious fashion.  So yeah, former British colonies are hard.  While my upbringing taught me that everyone is the same, theirs taught them to respect class and place and role (vomit). I shouldn't be so judgmental-- each view is what it is, but it doesn't change the discord.

I would really like people to call me by my first name. I offer it, and then I try to insist, all the while in my head thinking "I'm breaking down barriers! Look at me the egalitarian!" when in reality, all I'm doing is making them uncomfortable. They don't want to call me by my first name. They are uncomfortable being overly familiar.

I see no need for a server to do anything for me other than take my order and bring the check. I (gasp) pour my own water from the bottle when I finish my glass. Again to me I'm being practical and reasonable, but to them I am doing their job. The sad eyes I got from the waiter when I refilled my own glass were heartbreaking.

I know, I need to get over it. There is no use trying to fool myself into thinking my efforts are appreciated; they are not. I am subverting nothing. All I am doing is making things awkward for everyone involved.