After a week of enjoying the company of my three West African friends, it was time for me to leave. I first said goodbye to the other Western girl and didn’t hesitate to give her a hug. That was the appropriate gesture in both of our cultures, neither of us would feel uncomfortable with it, and frankly, there weren’t many people around to risk offending. So we hugged.
One of the West African friends was delighted by this and sort of clapped and said “hug!” in English. So when it came time to say goodbye to each of the three friends, they gave me kisses on each cheek and I said “I’m American and we hug” and gave them each a nice hug. Now they were not accustomed to hugging so it was mechanically less smooth than one would have hoped with some awkward head and neck placement, so while not really a comfy exchange, definitely a meaningful one.
Yes, these were dudes. Yes, I was in Africa. Yes, I’m a married lady. And yes, I’m sure my guidebook would have told me that this was completely inappropriate behavior, but the thing is, it wasn’t. It was exactly the right thing to do in that moment.
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